tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88827611361399155702024-03-13T11:10:59.573-07:00Your daily dose of OPINIONS on the INTERNET!Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.comBlogger72125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-84974338305193945422020-04-06T00:15:00.002-07:002020-04-06T00:16:20.381-07:00Satyrday, a Fable. Thursday, parts 5 & 6, Deirdre woke alone, as usual. It was full noon, grey and dim. Around her, the walls of trees rose as before. For a moment she found that difficult to accept. So much had happened during the past day; the forest should have changed, begun to bud or flower, or fall away entirely. But the dense pattern of treebranch and leafless shrub repeated itself into the distance. She stretched her wings and folded them again, trying to relieve the ache that had developed during the flight the night before. Deirdre thought of the moon then, and how she had swung helplessly beneath the ravens as they'd carried her south. She'd tried to capture the moon's attention, to let her know the fight continued, but the moon had closed her eyes and let herself be taken, and Deirdre hadn't had the nerve to make herself known.<br />
Above her, a branch creaked, and when she looked up, she realized she wasn't alone. Condor sat there, staring down at her intently. His head was cocked to one side, and his beak was slightly open, like an idiot's. "Hi," he said jauntily. "I didn't wake you, did I?"<br />
"What are you doing?" Deirdre asked, flustered. "How long have you been here?"<br />
"Since it began to get light. I want to talk to you. I want to be with you."<br />
"Your candor is unnerving," Deirdre said.<br />
"My what?" Condor asked.<br />
"You don't understand a thing I say." Deirdre wasn't ready for Condor's blend of innocence and stupidity so early in the morning. "Why don't you go find someone to fly with? I haven't the time to take on an abecedarian . . . er . . . beginner."<br />
"But I understood what you said last night about the owl," Condor objected. "Besides, I don't want lessons. I just want to be near you."<br />
Deirdre shuddered on her branch. How was she going to get rid of him?<br />
"I have something you'll want to hear," Condor said quickly, afraid he'd be ordered to leave if he didn't speak fast. "The whole clan is arguing. There;s only one thing being talked about."<br />
Deirdre looked at him with sudden interest. Her anger subsided a bit. "What do you mean?" she asked.<br />
"I followed you last night after you saved my life. . . ."<br />
"Do me the favor of eschewing the melodrama," she said, and brushed right past Condor's puzzlement. "I only offered a word on your behalf. The falcon did nothing more than ask your name."<br />
"But he would have reported it to the owl," Condor said. "Anyway, I followed you after we carried the moon down there, and then when you slept, I went off to see what was going on. Everywhere I flew I found another group talking about him. Some say he's crazy. Lots are beginning to think his plan won't work. And now those three strangers are coming. Who are they?"<br />
"Never mind, Condor."<br />
"But you know them? Are they friends of yours?"<br />
Deirdre's vanity got the better of her. "Of course they're friends of mine," she snapped. "Why do you think they're on their way?"<br />
"To visit you?" Condor asked. "But I'd think that now was hardly the time. . . ."<br />
"Shut your beak!" Deirdre screamed.<br />
"I'm sorry," Condor said. "I'll be quiet."<br />
Deirdre sat for a minute until her heart resumed its natural rhythm. She looked at Condor, so good-natured yet so dull-witted she wasn't sure she could endure his company another minute. Her forbearance won over her anger. "Come with me," she said, and rose into the air.<br />
The younger bird flew after her. As she dipped and spun in the subtle currents, he followed as a respectful distance. She hovered over the treetops, and then headed east, her eyes trained on the forest below. She hadn't flown far when she saw a cluster of ravens, and she tucked her wings and dived. She and Condor settled quietly on a remote limb and listened to the conversation.<br />
It was like nothing she had heard before among the members of the clan. Most were given to small talk, idle chatter. But she was riveted now, galvanized by the intensity she heard in their voices. A dozen birds were engaged in an argument about the owl, just as Condor had said. Those inclined to follow him held the edge, but the few dissenters clung to their views with a tenacity which impressed her and gave her hope. She kept her beak closed and tried not to look too pleased.<br />
When she'd heard enough, she flew off again, and Condor, who had remained silently beside her, keeping his promise, flew off as well. They circled above the forest's top and headed west. They passed over a clearing, and when Deirdre looked down, she saw another group of ravens. Though she could not hear what was being said, the voices rose to her, angry and discordant.<br />
Everywhere the twp of them flew, the same drama unfolded. It's happening, she thought. The owl has overplayed his hand.<br />
She settled on a tree limb. Condor was right beside her. "See?" he said. "Isn't it just as I said?"<br />
"Yes," Deirdre replied. "Now I must be off. So be a good bird and keep watch. Let me know what's happened when I return."<br />
"But I want to stay with you," Condor said. "I won't be any trouble, I promise. I'll keep out of your way, and I'll be there if you need anything. And I'll be quiet."<br />
"You can be of more help to all of us by remaining here and finding out as much as you can."<br />
The younger bird looked at her mournfully. "Please don't send me away," he said.<br />
Deirdre became exasperated. "There are things you are too young to understand," she said. "There are things I have to do alone."<br />
"Please," he said. "Please let me come. I think I'm in love with you."<br />
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* * *<br />
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As they raced across the sand, the spell of Matthew's music wore off, and before they could reach the nymph, she was a fox again. Derin collapsed on the sand, still light-headed, this time from the heat and his exhaustion. If he had been bathed in sweat before, now he nearly drowned in it. His face was a brilliant red, and when Matthew wheeled to a stop beside him, spraying sand, the satyr's first thought was that he'd killed the boy. But Derin threw back his head and laughed, drawing in the desert heat in burning draughts.<br />
Vera hadn't found the episode so amusing. She scoweled at the satyr as she lay on the sand, panting. "I'm sorry," Matthew said. "I couldn't help myself."<br />
"You're cynical and perverse," Vera said. "I didn't know you could do that."<br />
"I'm afraid so," Matthew said. "Trouble is, it never works. I can't run and play at the same time." Vera looked away disdainfully, as though she hadn't heard him. Her pretense didn't stop him. "If I'd caught you before you changed back into a fox," he said, "could you change after I'd caught you?"<br />
"No," she said. "Not until after you let me go."<br />
"Damn," he said. He slapped his thigh with his open palm and laughed. He was so good-humored about it, so like a small boy who finds he can do something clever, that Vera couldn't hold onto her temper for long.<br />
"Next time I'll have to run faster," Matthew said.<br />
"There won't be a next time," Vera said. "I'm warning you."<br />
Over them the sky grew darker. All three looked up at the clouds, now more ominous, beginning to ripple. Without saying another word, they rose from the sand and started toward the mountains, more quickly than before, trying to outrace whatever it was that threatened them form above.<br />
The rain came at them vertically, like knives. Soon they could see nothing but the grey walls enveloping them. The water stung them as though it were more than water, something almost animate with a mind of its own. Vera's fur became sodden and matted, smudged and yellow with sand. The water streamed down Derin's neck, into his eyes and mouth, so that he sputtered, shielded his mouth with his hand when he tried to breathe.<br />
Its velocity increased; it came at them so fiercely, Derin felt himself being pounded into the sand. But where was the sand? He was up to his ankles in water. It no longer seeped into the desert, but sat on its surface like a small lake.<br />
They sloshed through this sudden swamp more slowly, the water now above their ankles, dragging them down. A tiredness came over Derin which made him stumble. He thought he could no longer pick up his legs. Vera and Matthew were also dazed, their bodies numbed by the driving rain, their senses lulled into a state approaching sleep. They were all too lethargic to be worried.<br />
Derin stopped walking; his legs buckled and he sank to his knees in the water. He cupped some rain in his hands and brought it to his lips, but it was warm and brackish, like the water in the stream in the meadowlands. Matthew, throwing water before him with each step, reached the boy and walked past, catching Derin by the elbow and dragging him to his feet. The gesture was unconscious, concerned only with survival, as though a dream had overcome the satyr and he had lost his power of thought. He was moving to rhythms he would not have been able to explain, but forceful enough to draw Derin out of himself. He watched the satyr and the fox, lost to him now, responding to their animal natures, and he knew he would have to follow them, to do as they did, without talking, without even thinking, if he hoped to outlive this onslaught, this plague of rain.<br />
And then it lessened. First, Derin began to see further and further ahead, as though grey curtains were being lifted in front of him. The stinging drops became less heavy, and the storm front moved over them, headed north. One minute it was raining, and then the wall of water was to their right, receding rapidly. They watched it go, like the retreat of fever, and the boy became dizzy, as thought he'd been returned to himself after a long absence. he dared not speak to his companions who seemed still dazed; the sickness which had lifted from him still had them in its grip.<br />
It was steam the rain left behind. As the sky brightened from dark to light grey, the heat increased and the water evaporated from their clothes, from Vera's fur, from the sand under their feet, sinking into the desert and lifting from the Plain in shimmering waves.<br />
Only when the water under their feet was gone did Matthew and Vera seem to awaken. Matthew rubbed his eyes, as after a long and turbulent sleep, and Vera hung her head and shook it from side to side. They looked at one another in wonder, having shared something they didn't understand, and Derin, for a moment, felt an almost unbearable wave of loneliness.<br />
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If only Rise of Skywalker was a well constructed piece of cinema, I would have brought up "No one is ever truly gone" as a great and a wise line from a great film. But it's not, so I will instead say "No one can truly kill me, or this blog".<br />
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If you want me to actually speed this along, you must leave a comment. Otherwise, I will go as fast, <i>or painfully slow</i>, as I please.Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-70049669095903486552019-10-12T07:09:00.000-07:002019-10-12T07:09:16.787-07:00The accordion, aka world's first portable piano! German folk music. French street musicians. Russian and finish folk. It is pointless fighting over which country's music scene can claim the accordion. Because of what needs to be remembered and understood.<br />
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And what needs to be understood is that the accordion was the world's first portable piano.<br />
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If you're not a musician, i could explain it like this: most music instruments cannot play all that many things, most of them are very limited with what you can squeeze out of them. Piano, on the other hand, despite being somewhat harder to play on (all those keys look the same, dammit!), you can play almost anything on. There is a reason so many world famous classical pieces are for the piano. Piano can have up to 10 notes ringing at any given moment, giving you more options of what to play. NOW, of course more does not mean better, and one could play great things on a simpler instruments despite the limitations............ but on the piano it is easy (after years of practice) to play any composition, except maybe orchestral (and even that could be fudged).<br />
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So, what does this mean?<br />
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It means with the accordion, you have a portable piano that does not need power. Take it with you when you go to the country, when you go mushroom picking. Take it with you on the beach. Grab it when you move to a new town, a new country. And you could play whatever you want, wherever you want!<br />
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See now why accordions were an instant hit? See now why the instrument spread all over Europe (after someone somewhere PROBABLY around Germany invented it) and later the world.<br />
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Accordion has been a part of european folk music several hundred years now, with no country really "owning" it. Don't fight over the portable piano, european nations, do not fight over "who the accordion belongs to"; share this common musical tradition instead!Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-62447584963782553062019-09-28T01:06:00.000-07:002019-09-28T01:06:14.724-07:00Don't call it pop! I don't like when certain music gets labeled "pop". I just don't like it. Why? Because in my little world "pop" carries negative implications. I see pop as the opposite of art. Arght is when you follow your sixth sense and ur <3, and create something <i>good</i>, without careful calculations of how to please as many people as possible. When CC (careful calculations) get involved, the art becomes craft. And I have nothing against craft. However, when I want art, I won't take your craft <i>alone</i> as a substitute.<br />
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What makes it worse is the current state of pop music. And by that I mean mainstream pop. Apparently there is such thing as "indie pop", where musicians write and arrange their own stuff. I am not talking of those fine gentlemen and gentleladies. No, I mean the SHIT you get on your car radio and the abortion that MTV has become after ~2005.<br />
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When you spend years listening to ALL kinds of music, all genres (yes, even <i>that</i> one), songs <i>and</i> instrumentals, and even knowing how music is made, being able to compose, makes you see cheap emotional manipulation for what it is. The same few chord progressions to evoke the same quick emotional responses. The same damn drum samples. Not very imaginary arrangements (you do know what arrangement is, right?...) <b>THE SAME DAMN WORDS ABOUT """ROMANCE"""</b> (it's really fucking) <b>OR YOUR DAMN BROKEN HEART THAT IS NOT WORTH ANYTHING SINCE YOU ARE CREATIVELY BANKRUPT AND LITERALLY DISPOSABLE.</b><br />
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In other words........... <span style="font-size: xx-small;">please don't call this really cool band I like "pop", they deserve better.</span>Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-1310264615209564242019-01-06T20:58:00.000-08:002019-01-06T20:58:06.504-08:00Green Eyes I do not get it. So, allegedly the differing eye colours are due to the different melanin content. You know melanin, right? It's that brown stuff that, in large quantities, makes brown so dark you call it black. Black eyes are like that, so much melanin they have no choice but the be black.<br />
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So, in that case, eyes with less and less melanin should have brown, light brown, beige, and pale beige colours...... right? Well, somehow "less brown stuff" means green and blue. CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS? Cause my low IQ brain cannot get it. Apparently it has to do with light refractions or something like that...?<br />
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/shortpostMister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-88187068269467009192018-07-10T23:40:00.001-07:002018-07-11T02:18:56.938-07:00The SMALL Spyro problem... NO, this is not well timed clickbait.<br />
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Today, gents and ladiesmen, I will bring your attention to the size of Spyro the Dragon. Yes, his size. Spyro, believe it or not, is small.<br />
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Now, the reason for Spyro's small size does not matter much. Mayhaps he was shrunk to appeal to tiny humans playing the game at the ripe age of 6. Perpossibly playing as a smaller character works better for a platformer. It even allows for the premise and story of the first game. There are several reasons to make Spyro small, be they logical, stylistic, and market based.<br />
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Then what's the "PROBLEM", exactly?? Why am I complaining, having just explained why small Spyro makes sense?<br />
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Well, the thing is, Spyro is not just small. He is small because he is YOUNG. And that creates a problem no one thinks about.<br />
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The problem arises when you keep making sequels. Unless you're rebooting the franchise all the time (cough, cough), with every sequel some time passes. Spyro MUST age, however slow. What I am getting at, is that at some point Spyro has GOT to grow. Even if he is unusually small for a dragon, he HAS to grow, at least a little.<br />
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And despite that being common sense, it is a problem. If Spyro The Dragon™ ever grows up and get bigger*, that will destroy the iconic brand's recognition. Iconic look is the only way to be remembered by an audience who will return to buy your sequels. What if Crash Bandicoot stops being orange and loses his mohawk? What if Mario shaves off his mustache? What if Harry Potter loses his forehead scar? What if Slash takes off his hat and sunglasses?? WHAT IF YOUR FAMOUS CHARACTERS STOPS LOOKING AS YOU REMEMBER THEM?<br />
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No no no, we cannot have that!~!<br />
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And that, is why you cannot make Spyro The Dragon™ bigger. If you do that, the numerous retards in the audience will get all confused, and not buy the next game. "What the fuck?! Who is that?? I don't recognize that large purple reptile! Where's muh Smol Spyro™???" Or, perhaps, if you are slightly less a retard, "The fuck?! Why is Spyro BIG now? Why did they change him? I don't like when things get different, I don't want this! Take it away, I want my Smol Spyro™ back!!!" And a sequel with a grown up Spyro does not sell. And that is sad.<br />
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And so, our little purple dragon will continue to roam the earth (gliding occasionally to reach some gems), cursed to forever remain small, to never grow up. He will never grow old enough to do it with Elora without the risk of jail time. That is why Spyro's iconic small size is a SMALL problem. <br />
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* LOS is a reboot and a different canon. Doesn't count.Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-78396427992764036202017-12-26T20:58:00.001-08:002017-12-26T20:58:22.555-08:00Bipolar Geniuses? ! Hi, I'm a guy on the INTERNET! Have you ever seen a man (or woman or bear) be exceedingly smart and insightful on some topic on one day, and then blabber something extremely stupid on another? Say something that really makes you think on Tuesday, and then declare the Matrix sequels smart and deep on Wednesday?<br />
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Yes, I am sure you have met at least one person like this: a philosopher at night, a retard at day. Such people are more common than fans of obscure british animated shows. And yet, to call them "regular flawed individuals" would be incorrect, since such regular people are usually not extraordinary in any way, with nothing great about them. Such "average" homosapienses are mediocre at everything, and make up roughly 80% of the world's population.<br />
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NO, these are special people, distinguished for being either extremely insightful and wise, or extremely stupid and mentally lazy. I have been thinking... what would I call such people? I don't believe anyone ever devised a word for such strange folk.<br />
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Until today.<br />
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4 today, I have finally solved this problem that no one ever cared about! From this point, these "sometimes brilliant, sometimes daft" people will be called Bipolar Geniuses™. ©Me, 2017. <br />
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No one steal!<br />
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More post are coming, as this blog continues to live, despite according to all known mainstream science it should be dead.Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-79945003042778819212017-07-03T23:17:00.002-07:002017-07-03T23:19:26.505-07:00The Vicious Cycle of Cute (a rant on art websites) On a popular art sharing site, a drawing of a CUTE vaguely kitten-like thing had been uploaded.<br />
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A user with a CUTE avatar icon writes "CUTE!" in the comment section.<br />
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on another day . . . . .<br />
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A CUTE vaguely kitten-like thing with BIG CUTE EYES is posted.<br />
A user with a CUTE avatar comments: "CUTE! Draw moar liek this!"<br />
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on a different day . . . . .<br />
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A CUTE vaguely kitten-like thing with BIG CUTE EYES is posted.<br />
A user with a CUTE avatar comments: "CUTE! Draw moar liek this!"<br />
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a day after . . . . .<br />
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A CUTE vaguely kitten-like thing with BIG CUTE EYES is posted.<br />
A user with a CUTE avatar comments: "CUTE! Draw moar liek this!"<br />
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on the next day . . . . .<br />
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A CUTE vaguely kitten-like thing with BIG CUTE EYES is posted.<br />
A user with a CUTE avatar comments: "CUTE! Draw moar liek this!"<br />
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on another day . . . . .<br />
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A CUTE vaguely kitten-like thing with BIG CUTE EYES is posted.<br />
A user with a CUTE avatar comments: "CUTE! Draw moar liek this!"<br />
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the next day . . . . .<br />
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. . . . . . . . . . . <br />
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. . . . . YOU wake up. You do the usual routines, eventually get to your piece of paper/drawing tablet. You want to draw something. You want to make a drawing. You want to create a picture for others to see.<br />
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But what will you draw? . . . . . .Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-49443051595760127062017-06-10T20:39:00.001-07:002017-06-12T01:42:31.804-07:00Compact disks, the mystical mysterious reflective plastic frisbees. I love CDs. I really do. Have about 200 of them, maybe more.<br />
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And yet, sometimes I don't get them. Sometime, they mystify me.<br />
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You probably heard of the "CD rot", have you? It's when water, air, or that dreaded UV light gets inside the CD, and damages the precious information layer beyond repair. That shit is scary, and you do NOT want that to happen to your precious music. So, when you see that there is something VISIBLY wrong with your CD, you imagine the WORST. And yet,........... everything's..... <i>fine?????</i><br />
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I have about 40 musical disk thingies (an over-estimation) that have holes in them. When you examine them close to a strong light source, you see teeny-tiny holes in the aluminum(?) layer, light shines through them. Clearly, something got to the information layer, and ate it up, like a moth through a sweater. My precious, beloved CDs, damaged beyond repair! All the lovely music, gone forever!<br />
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. . . . . . . . . . <br />
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. . . . . . only the information is still all there???<br />
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Yes, exactly as you read. Despite the visible holes in the metallic information layer(?), all the bits are still there, the laser can read the data NO PROBLEM, and if I rip one of the """rotten""" CDs to a hard drive, the program detects 0 errors. ZERO ERRORS. Even though some of the information is supposed to be gone forever, "damaged" sectors forever unreadable. And yet, the ripped files play perfectly, with no clicks, no static, no nothing.<br />
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What the HELL is going on?!?<br />
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Well, I certainly do <i>not</i> know. What are those holes, anyway? What made them? Were the disks (mis)printed that way? Are these holes in the actual metallic layer, or the outermost top surface of the plastic coating? Is the metallic layer in CDs actually mostly see-through? I once accidentally (lightly) scratched the red printed label on a CD with a fingernail, and a tiny speck of red paint came off. In that place, there is now one of those "see-through" holes. The information is there, the laser can see it, and if I try to rip, report gives no reading errors.<br />
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Is this "disk rot"? Certainly not, since the information is still <u><i>there</i></u>, and <u><i>readable</i></u>. What <u><i>is</i></u> it then? What to call it? I don't FUCKING know! All I know is those holes are found almost exclusively on older CDs (printed in the 80s and early 90s). But a lot of older CDs also do NOT have any holes in them, so age cannot be the only factor. The only newer CDs in my massive collection to have that is the (fantastic) 2001 remaster of Benefit by Jethro Tull. However, the 3 tiny holes are not exactly on the information layer, but in the center, the part with the numbers and the bar code.<br />
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To finish off this strange post, I am stumped. I do not know what the heck is happening, I do not know why some of my CDs have visible holes in them. I do not know why the information there is still readable with no errors. I do not know what causes this, how it is possible, and what to call it. I love you, CDs, but you are fucking weird.Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-14797804144720523972017-06-08T21:33:00.002-07:002017-06-10T19:58:04.262-07:00X-perience Hey you!<br />
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Yes, <u><i>you</i></u>! Have you ever wanted to sound smart? But never bothered actually <i>becoming</i> smart? Want to impress people with your smart talk? Wanna talk smart, don't you?<br />
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Well, do I have a solution for you!<br />
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The secret to sounding smart is actually very simple! Just say "experience" a lot. You don't have to know what it means, just use it in dialogue, often. See example:<br />
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<b>"In my experience, never before have I experienced such an experience. My last summer's experience was quite an experience, and I wish every one of you could experience my experience!"</b><br />
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Now, what are you waiting for? Go, and experience the adoration of thousands of easily impressionable sheep!Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-48367336641811526002017-03-31T00:32:00.001-07:002017-03-31T00:32:20.329-07:00Satyrday, a Fable. Thursday, parts 3 & 4. The moon slept that night more deeply than she'd slept in days. Her exhaustion was coupled with depression and when she felt depressed, the only response was unconsciousness. The rhythmic suck and moan of the forest floor beneath her accompanied her dreams.<br />
Maxwell did not sleep that night, nor had he slept since his wings had been broken and he'd been brought to this place. He still ached, a now familiar pain which made him nauseous and dizzy. He watched the moon sleeping, her dim light waxing and waning as she breathed, and her presence gave him comfort. Below him, in the light the moon cast around her, he saw again the creatures he had watched all day.<br />
Starfish crept up the trunk of the tree on which he sat, and as they lurched toward him, he realized the true desperation of his condition. There would be nothing for him to do but submit to them when they reached him. For now, they stayed on the trunk, refusing to venture out on the branch he inhabited.<br />
He watched them approach the moon. A host of them slithered toward her, so many they covered the trunk of the tree in which she was caged. They crawled over one another, their groping points reaching out for anything they could fasten to, until they hunched at the place where the tree broke open into branches and surrounded the moon.<br />
They stayed there all night, and so Maxwell felt no need to interrupt the rhythms of her sleep. Instead, he watched her breathing and her dim illumination, rising and falling with the noise the reddish slime made as it quaked.<br />
As the first dim light of day filtered into the southern reach, chasing away the shreads of night still clinging to the treetops, the moon awoke. For a minute, she looked around her wildly, unaccustomed to this new place, and then she calmed. She had been moved. She was still all right.<br />
The calmness dissolved when she looked below. The ferns' black fronds waved in the wind, worms and toads and scorpions visible beneath them, At the tree's heart, a mass of starfish clung like a malignant growth, waving its free points, curling them up at her vaguely before withdrawing. Violently, she hit her side against the cage to wake herself. But it was no dream, this was where the owl had sent her, and she grunted in horror.<br />
At the first notice that the moon was awake, the starfish came alive. They began rolling towards her, separating from one another, taking different routes on the tree's branches. As she huddled in the center of her cage, she watched them come.<br />
"Ignore them," Maxwell called to her across the stand of trees. "Don't pay attention."<br />
The moon whirled around as though she'd been stung. "Who's that?" she asked in panic. "Who speaks from this place?"<br />
"I'm over here," said Maxwell. "Don't be afraid."<br />
"Don't be afraid?" the moon screamed.<br />
"I can't come closer," Maxwell said. "But listen to me carefully. Close your eyes. Pretend to be asleep."<br />
The moon did as she was told. She feigned unconsciousness, although she hardly needed to pretend. She swooned, the thoughts in her head racing through without stopping to be understood.<br />
The starfish hesitated. They wrapped themselves around the branches and waited. Maxwell watched them, disappointed. His plan hadn't worked. They were simply holding fast until the moon awoke again, and she couldn't maintain the façade of sleep forever.<br />
"Breathe deeply," Maxwell advised. "Shine with all the light you have." And the moon, her eyes closed, listening to a voice she'd never heard before, took deep draughts of fetid air. She glowed, and then became dark. She glowed more fiercely with each breath she took. She became dizzy, thought she might faint, but the voice encouraged her, told her to breathe more deeply still.<br />
As the light in the cage increased, the starfish cowered. With each incremental brightness, they flinched, as if the glow the moon gave off was dangerous to them. Maxwell watched as the light surged, and the starfish, one by one, moved back down the branches of the tree.<br />
"It's working," he cawed. "Don't stop. They hate the light."<br />
So the moon, her eyes still closed, glowed and glowed and glowed until she could do it no more. "It's all right," Maxwell called. "They're gone." She opened her eyes. She saw the last of them slither down the trunk beneath her and disappear among the waving black folds.<br />
"Thank you," the moon said. "Whoever you are."<br />
"I'm over here," Maxwell called, and the moon tried to see through the forest's branches. She thought she saw something, but it looked like a part of a tree. Beyond her, a small lump sat, darker than the branch.<br />
"Is that you?" the moon asked. "What are you?"<br />
"My name is Maxwell," the raven said. "Can't you see me? I;m a raven."<br />
"Come over here, then," the moon said. "Let me get a better look at you."<br />
"If only I could," Maxwell said, his voice mournful. "I can't move. The owl had his falcons break my wings."<br />
"Oh, no," the moon cried, horrified. "Oh, my heavenly body."<br />
And so Maxwell told the story of his mutilation. The moon wondered at the young bird's calm, amazed at the lack of bitterness in his voice.<br />
"I don't think it was you the owl wanted, but another raven named Deirdre. She came to tell me she had flown back to the meadowlands to get help."<br />
"I don't know anything about that," the young bird said.<br />
"Don't despair," the moon said, trying to be cheerful. "If the owl had the ravens move me here, I expect it's because he's feeling threatened." Yes, she thought. Deirdre! A feeling of great affection passed over her. Maxwell was thinking of other things.<br />
"Is there any way for you to help me?" he asked piteously? "I have no way to feed myself."<br />
"I don't see what I can do," she said. "I'm caged in this tree."<br />
"I'm afraid I'm going to die," the raven said.<br />
"There, there," the moon said kindly. "There, there."<br />
<br />
<br />
* * *<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
In front of Derin, in the distance, so far away they looked like heat distortions on the horizon, the mountains shimmered. "How far?" he asked, pointing.<br />
"A good day's march," the fox said.<br />
"Then we should be marching," Matthew said. "And hoping for a good day."<br />
It was hot on the Plain. They'd awakened, bathed in sweat, throwing off the blankets which had barely kept them warm during the night. The temperature rose as they walked; the sand sifted under their feet. It seemed the heat ascended to the clouds and was reflected back, intensified.<br />
The boy thought of the mountains ahead, the ascent from this plain. There, his feet would touch rock and solid earth, something permanent. He hated this waste; the heat made him dizzy. It was one step after another, with no sense of forward motion, no landmarks to judge distance against. They might be walking in place, for all he knew.<br />
He stripped to a thin cloth around his waist, and still the sweat streaked his chest and back. The salt stung his eyes. A haze of fine sand hung in the air, and as he walked through it, it dissolved and rain in rivulets down his thighs and calves.<br />
Matthew reached in his pack and pulled out his panpipe. He begun to play, falling into step behind Derin, and his music picked up the cadence of their walking. It floated up to the vault of sky and hung there, a bright cloud of its own making. Against his will, Derin felt his bad temper begin to evaporate. The music was sly, infectious; it nagged at his mood, refusing to allow it room to grow. The melody Matthew played reminded the boy of the meadowlands, provided a tie to all he'd left behind.<br />
He thought of how Matthew would sit in the clearing's edge as day waned and play until animals came from the woodlands and the meadow, birds fluttered across the fading colors of the sky, mesmerized by the music. At moments like that, Matthew was hypnotic. His eyes would gleam in he gathering dusk. He would stand as if possessed, his hips would pick up the rhythm, and then his hooves began to move. As Derin watched him, feeling the music enter through a portal in the head more mystical than the ears, Matthew's horns would glint and seem to grow, the fleece on his hips become shaggier, until he was more animal than man. The music would throb in the clearing, sensual and cool, like the touch of a hand on burning skin. Derin had seen him change that mood with a few haunting bars , each breathy phase poised on the edge of attainment before it trembled and faded off. Then he would change keys again, alter the rhythm, and the dirge would become wry, insouciant, building in speed until the clearing was full of animals who shuddered and twitched, possessed as well.<br />
Vera's ears pointed, and she sniffed the air. It was as though she were remembering something from long ago. She tried to shake it off, but couldn't, and finally she turned to Matthew and glared at him. Without missing a note, the melody changed abruptly to a quicksilver tune Derin hadn't heard in years. It was a song the satyr taught him when he was a boy, and the old words came back to him and he sang.<br />
<br />
There was a tortoise and a chub<br />
Who swam all day in a wooden tub<br />
Their life was simple as could be<br />
The tub was theirs and the air was free<br />
<br />
The tortoise had a magicshell<br />
The chub had scales and a silver bell<br />
Their cymbal was a lily pad<br />
And they sang all day of the luck they had<br />
<br />
And this is how the world is made<br />
With fire and laughter, stone and wind<br />
And this is how the music's played<br />
We will sing this song till our throats give in<br />
<br />
And when the turtle's stomach growled<br />
The sun burned down or the water howled<br />
The chub would bring him icy snow<br />
A fly to eat or a boat to row<br />
<br />
By day the sun, by night the moon<br />
Though storms rain down, they'll leave us soon<br />
And winter's cold will fade away<br />
The deepest night will turn to day<br />
<br />
And this is how the world is made<br />
With fire and laughter, stone and wind<br />
And this is how the music's played<br />
We will sing this song till our throats give in<br />
<br />
By the time the song had ended, Derin was out of breath. They were moving more quickly. The music changed again, recalling the melody Motthew had played earlier, and this time Vera trembled from the tip of her nose to her tail. The boy felt light-headed, as though he were made of air. Around him, the sand took on subtle colorations, the yellow grains streaming into runs of red and blue. He was no longer tired, or dizzy from the heat. He thought he was floating above the surface of desert; the sand buoyed him up. Under him, so far away they seemed someone else's. his feet were dancing.<br />
He saw a smear of silver hair, the startling image of white skin, the flash of a collarbone. And he was running, Matthew behind him, whooping, both of them flying, throwing sand behind them like a smokescreen.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
* * *<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Like I said many times before, if you, mysterious reader, would like to see updates more often, do tell me.Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-45604419138807886182016-07-15T15:08:00.000-07:002016-07-15T15:11:52.718-07:00Ruminating on the pack mentality (and wulfs) <b>(this rant will piss off every dog lover) </b><br />
<br />
<br />
So, it has come to this.<br />
<br />
I am finally writing another post, 3 months after.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
So, pack mentality.....<br />
<br />
One day, when thinking about dogs, and how they are "man's best friend", I asked myself the inevitable question: "Or are they?"<br />
<br />
Dogs seem to love you unconditionally, and are willing to do any work for you for a meager price of food and shelter. How noble of them............... or is it?<br />
<br />
Well, ask yourself a question: why do wolves form packs? Is it because they love each other so damn much? Is it because they are oh so nice? Or is it because of much more pragmatic, and, frankly, pathetic reasons?<br />
<br />
I will be frank, and say what I think right here. Wolves are weak cowards. They are weak because they cannot support themselves. They are cowards because they are afraid for their own skin. "Safety in numbers" is a recurring phrase for a reason. Wulfs stick together because it is safe. And because it makes it easier to hunt. Understandable, but not respectable.<br />
<br />
And there is nothing shameful for being weak on your own. However, it is shameful when those are your only reasons for being social. Yeah, I am part of the group, because on my own I cannot accomplish jack shit!<br />
<br />
It would be understandable, and even admirable if wolves formed packs after realizing their individual weakness as hunters and general survivors. It is noble to not be afraid to admit you're weak, and it is a sign of intelligence to decide to stick together with someone else for strength in numbers. But wolves just had to fuck everything up, by throwing in a bonus – the Alpha System.<br />
<br />
For you see, it's not all egalitarianism all the time inside a wulf pack. There is the 1%, those slightly below, and those considered the dredges of society. And everyone in the 99% are constantly scheming to overthrow (see: kill) the alphas. There are constant in-fighting, and frequent changing of the guard. Wulfs pretend to be loyal out of cowardice, but when presented with a chance, dig their teeth in. PRETTY MUCH LIKE PEOPLE, ACTUALLY.<br />
<br />
The pack is comprised of aggressive assholes who treat everyone else like shit and demand the best and the most resources, and submissive cowards below them who are only pretending to agree with the system, to hopefully one day kill the leader and become the 1%. Assholes, and cowards.<br />
<br />
And the dogs are so nice to us because, through their limited intelligence, they believe they are still the same wulfs of 10,000 years ago. Dogs still see the world through the old pack-o-vision, and see their masters as the alphas. Dogs pretend to like us because they are anti-egalitarian by nature. In dogs' world, there are only kings and servants, and you are one or the other. And sadly for them, we, the humans, are way smarter than them, and it is pretty much impossible for them to overthrow us, their two-legged masters. So they are stuck in the endless cycle of servitude.<br />
<br />
Dogs don't love us, they just think we are the alpha wulfs. And that is the sole point of this rant.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
And yes, some dogs seem to be capable of genuine sympathy for their owners. I met some like that.<br />
<br />
They are in the minority, sadly.Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-73827629835788106182016-03-07T23:08:00.000-08:002016-03-08T04:21:26.890-08:00Just some food for thought You will never be able to write a book and call it "Lolita" because of... you know.<br />
<br />
You will never be able to wear a rainbow shirt in the summer and not have it be mistaken for something homosexual.<br />
<br />
You will never be able to form a musical band and call is The Beatles.<br />
<br />
You will never be able to discover the North Pole for the first time.<br />
<br />
You will never write Star Wars. <br />
<br />
You will never have to worry about sword training, since guns are invented.<br />
<br />
You will never invent the radio.<br />
<br />
You will never paint the Mona Lisa. Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-43529384689034327562016-03-04T18:46:00.000-08:002016-03-04T18:46:32.746-08:00Satyrday, a Fable. Thursday, parts 1 & 2.<h2>
THURSDAY</h2>
<br />
<br />
<br />
Vera didn't sleep much that night. The boy and satyr rested on the sand, surrounded by the large boulders. They lay huddled in their blankets, for night on the Plain was very cold. The fox sat and watched them a long time, not thinking much of anything. The boy appeared dreamless, almost dead, as he lay on his back, the blanket tucked around his chin, his face turned upwards to the blank sky. The satyr rested on his side, his hindquarters bent at the hips and knees, his back to Derin.<br />
And then the fox's eyes clouded over, she ceased to look at her companions, and she was very far away. She was remembering, sifting though the past as one might walk along the beach, vacantly, stopping now and then to examine something which lies on the sand–a bright washed pebble, a piece of shell, each story distinct from all others, but connected by the great sea which has given it up.<br />
The longest hours of the night stretched before her. In the shifting winds which swept the plain, small pillars of sand rose up in a whirlwind and disappeared. If the bones of her children beneath her could understand, they would want her to rest. And so she lay beside the satyr and the boy and closed her eyes.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
* * *<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"What do you have to say to me?" the owl asked, his eyes bright with interest. The ancient raven dropped to earth. The owl towered in front of her, but she didn't seem frightened.<br />
"I don't know much at this time," the crone said. "Members of the clan are beginning to talk against you, several in particular. I have heard it said your plan is doomed to fail."<br />
The owl's eyelids lowered as they did when he was thinking. The crone was unaware of the fury behind that thought.<br />
"There are more than one who question me," he said, his voice muffled, as if it were of no concern to him.<br />
"Yes, my lord. I've listened to many conversations since last night, and ravens who do not know each other are saying the same things."<br />
"It will not matter," he said. "I will clamp down so swiftly upon whomever questions me the others will understand they have no choice. And in a few short days nothing anyone could do will make a difference."<br />
There was silence in the clearing. The ancient raven and the owl stared at each other across the distance between them. "The old are either very foolish or very wise," the owl said. "Which are you?"<br />
I am not foolish enough to think myself wise," the crone said, and the owl was pleased with her response.<br />
"You speak well, the owl said. "What did you have in mind?"<br />
"I ask only that you allow me privately to serve you," she said. "I would act as a spy on your behalf."<br />
"Go then," the owl said, almost gently. "Bring me the names of those who speak or act against me. And if you should discover a connection between the three strangers I spoke of earlier and a member of the clan, it would be of special interest to me."<br />
"What will you do about them?" the crone asked.<br />
"I will deal with them, if they get this far," the owl said fiercely. "But before they arrive, I have ways to make their journey more difficult."<br />
"If I may be so bold to ask. . . ."<br />
"You may not."<br />
In the darkness behind them, the sound of the ravens returning from the southern reach began to build in intensity.<br />
"They are coming," the crone said. "I have to go." She hesitated. "My lord, when the new kingdom is established, if there should be a post for me, I would humbly accept it, were you to offer."<br />
"Surely," the owl said, for he had nothing to lose in this. "In the meantime, keep your eyes open. I will await your report."<br />
The crone lowered her head. "My lord," she said, and flew away.<br />
The wind carried the sound of beating wings closer and closer to the owl. "It is done," he said. "The moon is in the southern reach." He thied to experience his pleasure, but every time he began to gloat, the knowledge of his betrayal stuck him in his throat. Unbeknownst to him, a raven had been working–slowly, carefully, with great foresight–against him.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
* * *<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Who knew part 2 was short, and part 1 <i>extra short</i>? Not me! For I have only read this book once, and do not have perfect memories of how long each part is.Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-8573720404308194042016-02-09T15:59:00.000-08:002016-02-09T15:59:17.471-08:00I blame the INTERNET (and myself). You probably heard a lot of complains, a lot of moans about things getting worse, about everything being shit. You heard complaints about #KidsTheseDays who cannot spend 5 waking minutes without checking their status on a touch phone, and being willfully ignorant about actual knowledge.<br />
<br />
You might even have heard about the entire Western Civilization going to Hell in a regular basket.<br />
<br />
Assuming any of that is true, and things in the western world really ARE getting worse, there are only 3 options.<br />
<br />
–Blame yourself.<br />
<br />
–Blame someone/something else.<br />
<br />
–Do Both.<br />
<br />
I personally do believe that things in the western world have been going downhill, and that people are becoming increasingly apathetic and willfully ignorant. People are refusing to think for themselves, refusing to question things, refusing to DO things; refusing to live as brave independent people, and not cowardly sheep following either RELIGION of SCIENCE to wherever those take us (spoiler: it's destruction).<br />
<br />
I believe that the West have been getting more and more sick for some time. And of the three options listed above, I pick the 3rd, the last one.<br />
<br />
Blaming yourself is always a good option, and is an important step in growing up, and becoming MATURE ADULTS™.<br />
<br />
HOWEVER, blaming yourself BY ITSELF, only leads to self hatred (and suicide). You can only blame yourself for making the wrong action (or not taking actions at all), believing the wrong idea, or allowing someone to keep you down.<br />
<br />
So, for the shit that has been happening to the West, and myself personally, I blame myself for allowing THE INTERNETS to turn me into a slob, eager for instant gratification.<br />
<br />
We have become chronically afraid of missing something important, for missing some hot new content, for falling out of the loop. We are afraid of not being in the know. And that is why we are always online, always checking IF WE MISSED ANYTHING (spoiler: we almost never do).<br />
<br />
We have become spoiled by the promise of instant access and no waiting. We curse our INTERNET connection when downloading our movies and games illegally (because why work for money if that is hard and takes time?) Don't work! Don't wait! Do not do hard things! Do not discipline yourself! DO NOTHING BUT CONSUME EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE RIGHT NOW!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Looking at myself, I make myself sick sometimes.<br />
<br />
And I am not the only one.<br />
<br />
LOOK IN THE FUCKING MIRROR.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
P.S. Satyrday updates will return very soon. I promise to not take very long now.Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-5790563129463215832016-01-08T20:48:00.000-08:002016-01-08T20:48:20.500-08:00Satyrday, a Fable. Wednesday, parts 15 & 16. It was like the night before, but the owl was meaner, clearly more angry. Deirdre looked around her slowly, trying to see if the conversations of the past day had a visible effect upon the other ravens. If there were a change, she couldn't see one. All were silent, obedient, careful to show the owl complete attention and respect. He wasted no time.<br />
"It has been suggested to me that perhaps the punishment meted out last night was too severe," he said. Deirdre was instantly cautious: had he a plan to win back those who were turning against him? Did he even know of the dissenters? "But first, a more important matter. It seems there may be a further traitor in our midst, one who knows far more than a puny little imp. Which of you flew south beyond the boundaries given by me? Who passed into the southern reach?"<br />
Deirdre stayed quiet. She had flown there completely by accident and had told no one. She was safe. But still, this line of questioning piqued her interest. Why was the owl protective of the southern reach. There must be some secret, something none of the ravens knew. Since Maxwell's mutilation, they understood the south as a place of exile, although they hadn't an idea of the starfish or ferns.<br />
No one spoke. The owl's last words had been completely absorbed by the ravens' feathers, and a quiet like softly falling snow lay over the clearing.<br />
The owl was beside himself. He fumed below them. His great chest heaved. Since the weasels had come with their information, he'd been obsessed with the thought of betrayal. Which of them was it?<br />
"Listen," he said. "Tonight I was given information that strangers have entered the Outer Lands, are even now at the grave of the ancestors. Does one of you know something about this?"<br />
Deirdre's heart leapt in her throat. They had crossed the river! They were on the Plain of Desiccation. She could hardly contain herself; she felt like cawing jubilantly, like dancing on her branch. They had made it!<br />
"I WANT TO KNOW!" the owl thundered. "WHO ARE THESE THREE?"<br />
<i>Three!</i> Deirdre jumped. <i>Who had they picked up?</i><br />
"Begging your pardon, sire," a sycophant murmured from a branch directly over the owl. "But if your worship doesn't know, how would we have the slightest guess?"<br />
"Shut your mouth, you imbecile. I don't want sugary words. I WANT SOME INFORMATION."<br />
The raven all but disappeared. Deirdre looked around, but it was clear that no one had a thing to say, out of fear, out of perversity, out of disdain.<br />
"It doesn't matter to me who they are," the owl said, making every effort to regain his composure. "I know what they look like, and how far they'd come. I will keep careful watch over their progress. I will look forward to their arrival in the forest. I will prepare a welcome they won't forget. Do they think I can be beaten at my own game, and in my own territory?" Deirdre shivered. She's hoped this news would frighten the owl, but fear seemed the farthest thing from his mind.<br />
"I await them with great anticipation," he said.<br />
"Now. In the interest of a free and open discussion, let me offer a trade. If whoever flew south without my permission will reveal himself, I will answer questions concerning the justice of my punishment of last night. I am not above reproach. I depend on your good will."<br />
As before, the ravens stirred on their branches, distrustful. None seemed willing to try him again. Maxwell's example wasn't easily forgotten.<br />
"None of you knows a thing about this," the owl said, his body beginning to shake with the tension of keeping his anger throttled. "All are completely innocent. No one flew south; no one knows about the strangers to the east." His breathing became harsher, and his talons dug more deeply into the ground.<br />
"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" shrieked the owl. "NOT ONE WORD."<br />
The ravens began murmuring to one another. Never before had the owl appeared like this. Always icily cool, always under control, he had made decrees, handed down orders with total aplomb.<br />
"SILENCE!" he screamed. He shivered in his feathers. His eyes, blood-red, matched the crimson of his bib. Apoplexy, Deirdre thought with glee. <i>Angina pectoris.</i> But she was wrong. He was not about to die.<br />
"All right," he said, more under control. "Let's pretend your naïveté is real. But let this be known. I will not stop this inquisition, whether you be here or elsewhere. I will search until I find the traitor. And I <i>will</i> find him. If it means pulling your tongues out one by one, if it entails torturing you in view of the clan, I will discover who stands against me. Nothing can stand against me. You should have realized that years ago.<br />
"I want the moon moved to the southern reach," he said. "Tonight." The groan that arose from the ravens was unmistakable. "I want her taken from her tree and carried south. My falcons will show you where to put her. She can keep that broken-winged toadstool company. Are there any who question my command?"<br />
Yes, thought Deirdre, but she made no sound.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
* * *<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Whatever hope the moon felt at the disappearance and reemergence of her sister that afternoon was gone. The warmth she'd felt had long since dissipated. She was wretched, underfed, losing her silver sheen. She was trying to keep in shape, but there was nowhere to exercise. And she was very lonely. It seemed she hadn't spoken to a soul since Deirdre had left her the day before. Was that how long ago it was? In the forest, time was endless.<br />
From the distance, she heard a faint thunder which grew louder the more intently she listened. She'd heard that noise before. She'd been floating serenely in the sky, bothering no one, when that roar had crept up behind her. There was no mistaking it; the ravens were coming.<br />
They swooped at her from all directions. The wind made by their wings buffeted her, threw her against the branches of her cage, forced tears from her eyes. They settled around her, on the trees of the forest, on her own oak. And then, like the other day, the owl fell to earth and sat in the clearing below her. He was not friendly; he was not sarcastic. He was enraged.<br />
"You're being moved," he said unceremoniously. "Now. Tonight. And I don't want to hear a word from you." The ravens moved toward her. "No," he said. "Wait." His voice became more mellifluous. "Before they go to unnecessary trouble, I want to know if you've thought about my proposition."<br />
"Your proposition," the moon echoed dully.<br />
"I want to know where your sister sleeps," the owl said. "It is of great interest to me."<br />
Deirdre thought it very bold of him to ask this in front of the assemblage of ravens, for the owl had been at pains to let them know there was nothing he needed toward the completion of his quest except the moon, safely in his grasp. She was not even sure why he wanted to know there the sun slept, or what he would do with that information.<br />
The moon wavered in her cage, and Deirdre wondered if she'd been sufficiently worn down to give in, give up, tell the owl what he wanted to know. His tone became more wheedling. "You are beautiful," he said. "I have always admired you. But you grew weak and wan in your cage. Tell me what I want to know, and you will be freed. Together we will rule the night."<br />
"I cannot tell you," the moon said.<br />
"She has always been brighter than you, always has thought herself better than you. I give you the opportunity to rule over her, and you turn it down?"<br />
"She is not brighter than I, and I am far more beautiful."<br />
"Not any more, my lovely," the owl said cruelly. "You are tarnished and tame. You are like a beautifully groomed animal lost in a briar patch."<br />
"May you bite off your foul tongue at the root," the moon said. "Your breath infects the air."<br />
"I don't mean to insult you," the owl said. "I mean only to remind you of all you would give up. And for what? A sister who despises you, uses you, who all along had thought herself superior to you."<br />
"You miserable bloated bag of feathers," she said. "She may be many things, but she is still my sister."<br />
"You will suffer far worse where you are going than you have here," the owl said coldly. "Take her away from my sight."<br />
The falcons held back the branches, and a host of ravens entered the cage with their net. It was the same gauze, and it wrapped around the moon as though it had longed to return. She struggled against it, doing all she could to make herself more difficult to manage, but it was no use. She was lifted from the cage by the ravens, who now flocked through the opening made by the falcons. They struggled with their burden, for the moon was indeed heavy, and several times she felt herself being lowered, as though they couldn't garner the strength to get her free. But more and more ravens flew to the oak's top, tangled their talons in the net, and slowly she was lifted.<br />
She swung loose above the trees in a hammock of gauze, and the rolling motion as the ravens ascended and headed south sickened her. But she was free of her cage. She took deep breaths, shedding her pale light around her. It illuminated the tops of the Deadwood Forest, those broken branches which now, instead of holding her, seemed to be reaching up in farewell. It reflected off the ravens' underbellies, a sea of feathers.<br />
The journey lasted some time. She was quiet, listening to the harsh rasp of wind on the ravens' throats. They were struggling, tiring. Perhaps they'd drop her and she would float free, up through the clouds, away from all this. But she knew there were too many of them for that to happen, and replacements who flew behind, should and of those carrying her tire too much.<br />
They lowered her carefully at the appointed time, their wings outspread and floating on the wind. She felt herself dropping, and another tree surrounded her. The falcons strained against the branches, holding them, and finally the last raven released the gauze. It was whipped from under her, and she was alone again, listening to the faint flapping as the ravens headed north.<br />
She closed her eyes and listened to her heart. She was breathing shallowly now and her light was dim. Above the sound of her breathing, above the beating of her heart, she heard another noise like the ocean, a faint rising and falling of breath, waves beating themselves against a foreign shore.<br />
Miles to the north, the owl sat in the clearing, alone but for one raven who had left the entourage to return early. It was the withered crone, her black feathers rumpled and dusty. She was breathless, and she thought her old heart would give out on her before she could say what she'd come to say.<br />
"My lord," she ventured.<br />
The owl looked up at her as she hovered in the air inches from his beak. One snap would cut her in half. "Ancient one," he said. "I have never trusted the very old or the very young."<br />
"I would speak with you," she said. "I have some information you will want."<br />
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If you made it this far, thanks for your patience. If you just stumbled upon this page, please find the first chapter and read form the beginning! It won't be hard to find.Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-55049572780958013852015-12-24T15:31:00.002-08:002017-03-31T23:51:43.738-07:00Why Santa Claus makes no sense (and needs to go away). We lie to our children like total scumbags. And when they grow up, they take after us, because we are fucking stupid, and totally incapable of learning from others' past mistakes, or growing to become better than our parents. We are stuck in an endless cycle of mediocrity, unable to improve due to our inherent stupidity.<br />
<br />
But this is not what this cheery Christmas article is going to be about.<br />
<br />
No, it is about why Santa Claus, as a concept, makes no fucking sense.<br />
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Who is Santa Claus? Well, he is an old seemingly immortal man who lives on the North Pole, and gives presents to worthy children on Christmas Day. He delivers all Christmas presents by himself.<br />
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What is Christmas all about? Well, if you don't get über religious about it, Christmas is about sharing, and giving. Giving presents (of various kinds). On Christmas you give presents.<br />
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SEE THE PROBLEM YET??<br />
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Well, in case you don't, allow me to put it this way: <u>Santa Claus destroys the Spirit of Christmas by existing.</u> If Santa was real (WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE ISN'T REAL YOU JERK), that would mean all presents on Christmas would be from him. That, in turn, eliminates any reason for sharing and giving. Why give presents yourself, when some fat man from the north pole can just do it for you, and do it better? Cause Santa knows what everyone wants, and delivers stuff on time, never late. You cannot beat Santa. He is friggin perfect.<br />
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And you can never beat friggin perfect, let me tell you that.<br />
<br />
So, in order for gift giving and the whole kindness thing to take place, Santa Claus needs to go away. Either <i>you</i> are nice, or somebody is being nice <i>for you</i>. In my OPINION, there is no middle ground here. It is either Santa Claus, or you. And I would rather be nice and give gifts by myself, rather than rely on someone else to do those important things for me.<br />
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MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS! :DMister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-81550382081370127522015-12-02T15:16:00.000-08:002015-12-02T15:16:09.293-08:00Satyrday, a Fable. Wednesday, parts 13 & 14. The weasels, out of breath and frantic from their travel, returned to the owl that night and told him what they'd seen. He was still in the clearing he'd awakened in earlier, still in a foul mood at the disappointment he'd felt when the sun's light returned to earth.<br />
They crept from the underbrush, staying as close to the ground as possible so they seemed to the owl, who had been aware of their proximity long before they thought he was, like two furry snakes whose bellies dragged leaves and twigs behind them. "You're back," the owl said, his voice as closeto a growl as was possible for him. "You bring good news. No more ravens flying west, I trust."<br />
"Sire," one weasel said in a quaking voice. "It's worse than that." The owl's eyes opened more widely. "Three strangers approach the western reach."<br />
For a moment, the owl ceased to breathe. His eyelids drooped, and then they flew open, and their red fire blazed out at the weasels. He spread huge wings and beat them so that a cloud of dust rose from the ground, blinding the two frightened animals.<br />
"You come to tell me this?" the owl thundered. "Better it had been news of a reigning darkness. Better for you to have discovered where the sun spends her nights!"<br />
"We are sorry, my lord. We can only tell you when we know to be true." The weasel's voice was almost a whisper. "Today a fox, white as snow, and two strange creatures who walk upright, like bears, have reached the grave of the ancestors. One is slim and young, and practically hairless, a male. The other is older, with the hindquarters of a goat. Above the hips, he most resembles the other creature. They are very strange."<br />
"That's impossible," the owl said. "You're lying." He gave a cry and a volley of wings stained the air of the clearing. The falcons descended, thudding into the dirt around him.<br />
"They lie to me," the owl said to the falcons' leader. "They're perverse. It displeases me. Take them away."<br />
"My liege," one of the weasels said desperately. "Three creatures have arrived at the grave of the ancestors. I swear to you." The other weasel scuffed in the dirt, wildly looked around, and made a break for the forest. He thrashed in the underbrush, but the falcons were too quick for him, and his screams for mercy grew weaker.<br />
"Your friend seemed eager to depart," the owl said. "What did he have to fear, if you do not lie?"<br />
"You, my lord."<br />
"And are you frightened of me as well?" the owl asked.<br />
"T-t-t-terrified," the weasel stammered. "My lord, if I might say one thing. . . ." He stopped, asking permission, but the owl didn't say a word, just fixed him with his gaze. "I know this news angers you. And there is nothing I would not do to avoid your anger. Why then, if this were a lie, would I put my life in danger?"<br />
"What do you think?" the owl asked the assembled falcons, but as usual, none said anything. He turned to the weasel. "Perhaps you are telling the truth. Your logic is persuasive. Get out of here." The weasel disappeared, taking it as reward enough that he had escaped with his life.<br />
"Gather the ravens," the owl ordered. "Now. Be quick about it."<br />
As one, the falcons ascended and dispersed. They flew east and west, north and south, spreading the word of the owl's command.<br />
The owl remained where he was. His solitude did nothing for his mood. He seethed there on the forest floor, his breathing harsh and rabid, almost convulsive, wild thoughts racing through his brain. "A boy," he thought. "A BOY. It's impossible. No one has escaped the Keep." He would wait until the ravens were gathered. And then he would find out what they knew. His breathing grew harsher and deeper until he thought he would burst.<br />
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"It's true," Deirdre said. "I couldn't agree with you more. I didn't like the way he talked to us one bit."<br />
She's grown considerably more outspoken since the sun had disappeared that afternoon, had begun to talk to the other ravens, edging around them cautiously to find out what they thought. She wasn't taking too large a chance in this, having overheard some conversations which gave her a great deal of hope.<br />
Many of the clan were upset by the owl's punishment of Maxwell, peremptory and vicious as it had been. For years, they had managed to maintain an image of the owl as just and fair, but his coldness, his insults of the night before made some begin to question him. Camps formed among those who were angry with the owl and those who blindly followed him. It was with a group teetering between these choices that Deirdre settled. She masked her voice, her ardent feelings, and tried to appear dispassionate.<br />
"Of course he has a right to say anything to us he wants," she said. "And to do anything he wants. He could torture each of us, one at a time. We're his, aren't we?"<br />
"It's not fair," a young raven named Condor said. "Not fair at all."<br />
"But what in this world <i>is</i> fair, young one?" a withered crone asked from a branch some distance away below Deirdre. "The idea of justice creates false hopes. There is only strength."<br />
"Wait a minute, wait a minute," another raven said. "What's this talk about torture?"<br />
"I asked whether you'd submit to torture," Deirdre asked.<br />
"Red herring, red herring!" the old crone cawed, hopping on her branch.<br />
"Are you hungry?" Condor asked solicitously, but the crone stared at him disdainfully.<br />
Deirdre was flustered and she backfeathered for a minute. The crone had a subtle mind and would bear watching. Deirdre had not expected to be called on her illogical leap. "I mean only this," she said. "Until now, we've been content with our part in the owl's general plan. He wants to rule the world, am I correct?" They nodded. "But would we still owe him our allegiance if we had reason to believe that in so doing we would contribute to our own demise?"<br />
"What?" Condor asked, baffled.<br />
"She meant would we follow him if we knew we'd die."<br />
"I hope not," Condor said. "I don't want to die."<br />
"Yes," the crone said, her voice deadly, deep, serious. "He is our lord and we must follow him, regardless of the cost. We bow before his power. He is stronger than we."<br />
"But strength on the part of another does not diminish the power of personal choice, even in those who are weak," Deirdre said. "And I believe–due to no fault of his–that the owl, from the beginning, was doomed to fail."<br />
"Would you say that again?" another raven asked, and Deirdre took a deep breath, and calmed herself. Nothing would be served by her impatience.<br />
"Let me put it another way. The world is changing," Deirdre said, and waited for a moment to see if she'd be contradicted, but nothing was said, and she continued. "It's laws are not set. But we know one thing for certain. There is balance to our lives. Now tell me if I'm wrong."<br />
Around her, the ravens turned to one another and argued. What, she thought, is this all about? She hadn't said anything the faintest bit controversial. When they quieted, the crone said, "Of course there's a balance. Of power."<br />
"What do you mean?" Condor asked. Deirdre was afraid she'd lose the attention of the group, which swung between her and the old witch, if she didn't move quickly.<br />
"We are ravens," she said.<br />
"Go on, go on," the crone said crossly.<br />
"And we are not alone in the world. There are other animals besides our clan."<br />
"Of course, you stupid cluck," the crone said.<br />
"My dear," Deirdre said harshly, letting her anger show for the first time. "Keep a leash on your runaway tongue, I listened to you when you delivered up your apothegms. Kindly do the same for me. Or I will take umbrage at your rudeness."<br />
<i>"What?"</i> Condor asked.<br />
"She'll get mad, you fool."<br />
Deirdre looked at them imperiously. "As I was saying. There is a balance. On one side there is sleep, and on the other, wakefulness. We fly and we sit. We eat and we void. These activities <i>balance</i> each other. Can you imagine a life of endless flying?"<br />
"We'd get pretty tired," Condor ventured.<br />
"Shut your crooked beak," the crone screamed, and she hopped on the branch and flapped her wings.<br />
"Likewise," Deirdre continued, "other things balance each other. We have friends and we have enemies. The jay is our friend, the hawk our enemy. And though many of you may be too young to remember life anywhere but here in the Forest, I am not. When we lived in the meadowlands, many years ago, there were things called seasons. Spring was a time when earth came alive, flowers bloomed, trees put out new leaves, we raised our broods."<br />
"What are flowers?" Condor asked, for he had never seen one.<br />
"Please, Condor," Deirdre said. "Let me finish. And later came a season called fall when the leaves fell from the trees, the flowers withered, and the earth came to rest. Those seasons oppose each other."<br />
"Like life and death," Condor said.<br />
"Exactly," Deirdre said. "It is the way things are. East has its west, and north its south; everything is defined by its opposite. And finally, if you will allow me to finish, there is night, and there is. . . ."<br />
"Day," Condor blurted, as if it were the most important thing he'd ever said. Deirdre was pleased. She'd gotten through to the dumbest raven in the group, and if he understood, surely the others did as well.<br />
"There are those who rule and those who follow," the crone said. "Do not mistake your station."<br />
There was general unrest for a minute, and then the group quieted down. They seemed not to have heard what the old crone said.<br />
From the air above them all, a great whoosh was heard, and like a thunderbolt a falcon fell and landed with a slap against a thick branch. His hood was black as the night, and his eyes shone, beady and evil. "The owl orders you to the clearing of last night's meeting," he said, his voice steady as rock. "What were you talking about?"<br />
No one said a word, and Deirdre felt fear seep from the group like a rank odor. "We were speaking of the sun today," she said, "and how it dimmed. We were saying how soon it would be that the sun was gone completely."<br />
She's telling the truth?" the falcon asked.<br />
"Yes," said Condor. "We umbrage the sun's demise."<br />
Everyone hushed, and the falcon looked at Condor keenly. "What is your name, young one?" he asked.<br />
Condor quaked on his branch. "He means nothing," Deirdre said. "He doesn't even know the import of those words. He heard them in our conversation this evening and he lacks the ability to use them correctly."<br />
"That's right," the crone said. "He doesn't know what he's talking about. He's stupid as a stone. All of them are."<br />
"Old one," the falcon said. "May your wizened heart fail if you lie to me."<br />
"In that case, I have nothing to fear," answered the crone, and she flew in a huff into the sky.<br />
"Be off, all of you," the falcon said, and he rose and headed east, looking for other ravens.<br />
"Thank you," Condor said to Deirdre when the falcon had gone. "You saved my life."<br />
"It's nothing," Deirdre said. "It is I who should thank you. Your felicitous questions aided the successful conclusion of my argument."<br />
"What?" Condor said.<br />
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Apologies for not posting anything for 2 months, but I promise I will make this up to you!Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-81328544070381103902015-10-02T23:07:00.000-07:002015-10-02T23:22:20.791-07:00The appeal of used media. First, yes, not everyone downloads everything on their iPads®™and consumes entertainment that way. Some people actually buy real books, and real CDs. And Blu-Rays.<br />
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Second, you are probably reading this on your iPad. OH THE IRONY.<br />
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Third, let's begin.<br />
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Today, children, I would like to dedicate a few medium sized paragraphs to the appeal of used things. The things that are no longer new. The things that were owned by somebody else for years. Old used fabric will be worn out and faded and full of holes. When we are dealing with electronics, we have to be extra cautious: anything
with moving parts wears out fairly quickly with constant use, and
anything with lights, lasers, and built-in batteries wears out even faster. An Apple laptop that was used every day for a year might have its super-duper-long-lasting-battery already almost dead. Speaking of non-electronic electric-based technology, a light bulb under constant use dies within a few months.<br />
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However, when we are dealing with used <i>media</i>, things start looking less grim. Having no moving parts, media ages really well. A book will live a life longer than of a human, providing it is not read daily, and is kept somewhere where it does not suck to be a book. A comic, being a book, is the same fucking thing. An old used vinyl record, providing it wasn't played often, will sound good, and plastic degrades extremely slowly. An old used optical disk (hint - that's what a CD or a Blu-Ray is) will live a long and prosperous life providing it was pressed well in the first place, didn't receive too many scratches, and was kept somewhere not too hot not too cold not too moist.<br />
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Used media has more appeal though, in addition to often being cheaper. It is a testament to its strength. if a book or a disk managed to live for 20 years or longer, without losing its ability to function, it speaks to the high level of manufacturing. With books, if you have something 40 years or older, still intact, and still readable, it was <i>really</i> made well, and the book is <i>really</i> high quality. A piece of old media still functioning after all the years is like a skilled warrior who went through many battles and <i>survived</i>; must be a <i>damn good</i> warrior then!<br />
<br />
Magnetic tapes are easy to wear out with constant use, and even without use are easy to damage, and damage permanently. These little demon spawns are an exception to what I am trying to get across here. . .<br />
<br />
. . . and what I am trying to get across here is:<br />
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<b> DO NOT BE AFRAID TO BUY USED. </b><br />
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. . . if it's media.<br />
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But be careful with cassettes. They are tricky.<br />
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That's it, really.<br />
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. . . except there will be a sequel.Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-87007223536092591182015-09-11T01:32:00.000-07:002015-09-11T01:32:02.096-07:00Satyrday, a Fable. Wednesday, parts 11 & 12. The weasels saw them coming and ducked out of sight. They slithered through the underbrush, bellies flat to the ground. They'd seen foxes before, but the other two creatures were unfamiliar to them. Through the network of reeds and rushes, the weasels watched the three pass, the strange white fox, the slim hairless one, the last with the hindquarters of a goat. They looked at one another, uncertain what to do, and crept toward the swamp.<br />
On its bank, they stopped and stared across the watery waste, searching the thickets for a glimpse of red eyes, the surface for a ripple. One of them crouched low and snarled, a rough invasion of the stillness, like wood cracking.<br />
They saw them before they could hear them. The swamp was disturbed by a low wave and then the eyes shone, reflected in the opaque water, doubling their number. The frogs looked like slowly moving scraps of log worn down by the ravages of weather, bulbous, dark, water streaming from their backs. They stopped several feet from the bank, but the wave continued until it lapped at the weasels' feet and washed back again.<br />
Silently they contemplated the shore, their underbellies pulsing like little hearts. "Have you seen them? The intruders?" one of the weasels whispered and the frogs shut their eyes once, together, so they glared out the water with fierce affirmation when they opened again.<br />
"What should we do?" the weasel whined. The frogs stared at them and the weasels shivered deep inside their coats. They knew the frogs would not harm them, but the vision of these specters filled even them with dread. The frogs felt nothing, no fear, no hurry, no anger. They glided undisturbed through the water of the swamp.<br />
"Should we tell the owl?"<br />
As before, the frogs blinked their eyes, once, red as freshly drawn blood. The weasels got out of there. They had tracks to make.<br />
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It was a formidable sight. The sand stretched before them, level as calm water. In the distance, a slight undulation was visible, rolling sand hills broken only by an occasional tuft of sharp grass. Behind them, the cattails and reeds, the low shrubs fell away until there was nothing but desert. It slithered up over Derin's feet, around Matthew's hooves as Vera padded along on top of it.<br />
"Was it always like this?" Matthew wanted to know.<br />
"No," Vera said. "At one time the river spilled over the marsh and onto these plains in spring, and there were lakes and ponds like the ones in the meadowlands. But that was many years ago, before the owl. The animals who lived here have been taken west. It's desert almost all the way to the mountains."<br />
"And how far is that?" Derin asked.<br />
"We'll reach them tomorrow."<br />
Matthew groaned. "I hate the sand," he said. "I can hardly walk." He struggled along behind the others, stopping to dislodge the grains which wedged in the cleft of his hooves.<br />
For Derin, the walking was not much easier. The sand dragged him down. With each step, his feet disappeared, sinking into the desert, and his calves soon ached with the effort. "Can we stop soon?" he asked. "I've had it."<br />
"At least we can see who's watching us," Vera said. "There's nowhere to hide."<br />
"How much further are we going?" Derin asked again.<br />
"Just a little," Vera said. "I have something to show you."<br />
Matthew said nothing, but he silently agreed with the boy. He, too, was exhausted, and his head throbbed from the blow he'd taken in the river.<br />
Just when Derin thought he couldn't go any further, he heard the fox say, "Up ahead. Can you see it?"<br />
In the dim light of the failing day, the boy thought he could pick out something rising off the plain before him. It looked like a grove of trees, maybe a pond? Derin imagined fresh fruit bursting from the trees, a place to swim, a clear sky, the moon and stars hanging in equilibrium in the dark field of night. But as they drew closer, none of them speaking, he saw that what stood before them were rocks, not trees, irregular boulders arranged in an awkward circle. They looked like the bodies of large animals hunkered down on the plain, sleeping.<br />
After trudging through the flat, dimensionless sand, the boulders were a shock. Something mysterious about the place stopped Derin from asking questions. The stones had been placed here, that was clear, but by whom and for what reason? The tension between their monstrous shapes and their careful placement awed him.<br />
"It's the grave of the ancestors," Vera said. "When the wind took the animals from the meadowlands, it whirled them up in a large black funnel. But over the river it lost its center, and as it crossed the plain, animals rained from the sky, thousands of them. From the river to here and beyond, the ground was choked with bodies."<br />
"How do you know this?" Derin asked, in wonder.<br />
"All the animals west of the river know of the grave," Vera said. "Every snow fox who was taken by the whirlwind died. My children are buried here."<br />
"I'm sorry," the boy said. "I didn't know."<br />
"It can't be helped," the fox said. "It was years ago." She paused and looked west across the sand as if she could see over the mountains and into the Forest. "I hate him," she said. "I lost a brother and sister as well."<br />
What could they say after that? Matthew and Derin stood silent, waiting for Vera to speak again.<br />
"The owl did not take our sorrow into account," she said. "The animals who survived were of no use to him. The Deadwood Forest was filled with their keening. Not an animal was taken who did not lose some of her family. There was nothing he could do. And so he allowed those who wished to return to this place to bury the dead. None crossed the river; that was forbidden. They came, mourning, to this spot, and gathered the bones of our families and buried them here."<br />
"Deirdre told me of the wind," the boy said, "but nothing about this place."<br />
"The raven," Vera said absently, her mind elsewhere.<br />
"Yes," Matthew said. For the first time that day he thought of their frantic friend. He hoped she was getting some rest.<br />
"What I don't understand," the satyr said, "is why the owl was not destroyed long ago. If there was such sorrow, such anger, why do the animals follow him?"<br />
"An interesting question," Vera said. "One I wondered about for years." She looked older suddenly, as though this place aged and saddened her. "He's very powerful, you must never forget that. He caused the win to blow to bring them west. And they were so broken down. They had no families to retreat to. Most had no friends. Each was isolated from the others of his kind.<br />
"And the owl promised a new world where all would live peacefully together. They believed him. Perhaps they had no choice. There were confrontations, but the instigators disappeared and were never heard of again. Over the years, most of the animals taken by the wind died, of old age, disease, of grief. And the children seem to have forgotten. The owl and the Deadwood Forest are all they've ever known."<br />
Derin cleared his throat, and Vera and Matthew looked at him. He stared at his feet, and he kicked the sand so it sprayed in front of him.<br />
"I wondered. . . ." he said, and cleared his throat again.<br />
"What, Derin?" Matthew asked.<br />
"Are any of my family buried here?"<br />
The fox looked away from them toward the west. Matthew's eyes suddenly burned. "No," he said.<br />
"I just wondered," Derin said.<br />
The three of them were silent, and the night came on. It was different on the Plain, sudden and swift., like the advent of a storm. There was no intermediary between earth and sky, no trees or rocks or water. And so it seemed to Derin, as he stood in the deepening chill, that one minute there had been light, and the next minute none.<br />
"Are we sleeping here tonight?" he asked.<br />
"Tomorrow night," Matthew said. "Tonight we're sleeping with the frogs in the swamp."<br />
"Very funny."<br />
"I can hear them croaking," the satyr said. "They're calling your name."<br />
Vera crouched by one of the largest rocks. She was silent and motionless, like a stone herself. The boy shrugged, took off his pack, and sat down. The air was cold, but still, the silence was immerse. The earth rose up to the sky, and the sky reached down so that Derin felt enfolded by enormous arms. Around him, in the dark, the thought he saw thousands of animals gather. In this magic circle of friends, they would be safe.<br />
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More = later! Reminder once again to tell me if you want me to work faster.Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-46080540419401173702015-08-19T10:08:00.000-07:002015-08-19T10:08:38.381-07:00Time >>> money. You heard the "time is money" phrase, right? If you took it seriously, then you probably assume that one is just as valuable as the other... right?<br />
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Well, I am here to prove that <i>wrong</i>. I am here to prove that time is <i>more</i> valuable than money.<br />
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Don't worry, I'll do it short. No walls of text today.<br />
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1) Money can be regained. Time is lost forever. Therefore, time is more precious.<br />
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2) It takes time to acquire a skill. No amount of money will be a substitute for time when it comes to learning and practice.<br />
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I hope I proved that time is more important than money with those 2 simple points.Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-74342307939757899812015-07-22T21:01:00.000-07:002015-07-22T21:01:05.530-07:00One more reason to not to respond to attention whores. We've all been there, haven't we? You read an article, and you read it, and you finish reading it, and you go all the way to the bottom............. to the comment section. You look through them, to see what other ppl are thinking....<br />
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....... and then you see it. Some smartass who thinks he is changing the world with his hot OPINIONS. His comment is so stupid, so angering, so factually incorrect, SO MAKING YOU CLICK THAT REPLY BU-......... but no, you must stop! Do not reply!<br />
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"But why? I must show that idiot that his position is wrong and he is factually incorrect!"<br />
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Well, that is not the smartest course de actionsé. Arguing with an idiot who thinks he is fighting a war in the comment section, will only fuel the fire; it will only strengthen the idiot's believe that there <i>is</i> a war. Why wouldn't there be? But of course there is! You are right there, fighting a war with him, with your comment!<br />
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Smartasses in comment sections think they are fighting a war against something BIG and evil. By replying, you reaffirm their belief that there is a force to be fought (your comment). By not replying, by ignoring the fuck out of them, there is a <i>slight</i> chance they might consider the possibility that they are fighting against nothing, that there is nothing to win, nobody to fight.<br />
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By ignoring angry idiots you just might help them become slightly less idiotic.Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-39074930612665736972015-07-21T16:35:00.000-07:002015-07-22T21:01:22.558-07:00SIlent Hill for Pretentious Smartasses Part 2 (long awaited by nobody). Alrighty then, let's jump into it. If you haven't read part 1, <a href="http://theinternetisforopinions.blogspot.com/2014/04/silent-hill-for-pretentious-smartasses.html">go read that first</a> before proceeding.<br />
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Are the events of Silent Hill 1-3 real? Those who prefer to think that they aren't, are in for quite an offense. I'll start with the supporting characters.<br />
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So, you think Silent Hill is all in youre heade? Okay. Explain the supporting characters then. How can the other people you interact with exist, if it's all in your mind? And you might be saying something like "oh, those people are just representations of [ blah blah Freudian Psychology 101 ]".<br />
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Well, if all those people in Silent Hill 2 are somehow in the head of the protagonist, that raises certain questions:<br />
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–<u><i>How?</i></u> How can people live inside your head? How can you have that? I personally never heard of anyone who has people living in his/her head. Yes, we all heard of insane people who have people living in their heads (or so they claim). Well, I never did, and so refuse to believe.<br />
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–If SH supporting characters are really representations of protagonist's guilt, then <u><i>what about those characters who do not represent fucking anything??</i></u> In the favorite game of the "in your head" proponents, Silent Hill 2, Laura does not represent shit. That contradicts the "all in your head" directly.<br />
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–Supporting characters' backstory. In the much beloved SH2, Angela was raped. Eddie was abused for being fat. What does that have to do with James Fucking Sunderland?? Was James fat? Was James raepd? NO. What do those backstories represent symbolically (there is that word again) in relation to James? FUCKING NOTHING. How can these people be imaginary, if <u><i>their backstories have nothing to do with James</i></u>? The answer is, they cannot.<br />
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–If everyone is imaginary, how can <u><i>your imaginary characters know information you never learned</i></u>? Eddie told James Laura's name. Angela told James about the monsters, before James ever saw one. Maria feels like she was meant to protect Laura, which reflects the feelings Mary had for the girl; James never knew they were friends. All those supporting characters in SH2, at least at one point, knew something James did not. That would indicate that they cannot be imaginary, and must be real people.<br />
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Okay, I hope these are some convincing arguments to convince you that the events of Silent Hill 2 did not happen in James's head. If you are still not convinced, then wait for part 3!Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-59996445780999444452015-07-03T23:36:00.000-07:002015-07-03T23:36:32.539-07:00In Defense of Sequels. if you go on the INTERNET, and look around, you will quickly find a sizable amount of humans united around the common goal of hating sequels. According to them, sequels are bad and need to stop.<br />
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Well, why they say that is not hard to figure out. Sequels are produced only to make money, after the original did. Or at least that is the common belief. That is hard to argue with. The biggest makers of movies (hello, Hollywood) are run by Big Bad Corporations, which in turn are not run by artists, but by corporate people who do not care for quality storytelling. They will finance utter shit, as long as it makes money. From the corporate leaders' point of view, as long as there is profit, the movie can be fucking anything. Unfortunately for them, the <i>actual movie audience</i> doesn't give a damn about that point of view.<br />
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And the general public <i>knows</i> that. People know that sequels are only made to sell more tickets.<br />
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BUT WAIT! That is not true!<br />
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... at least not entirely.<br />
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Allow me to introduce you to the glorious World of Exceptions. World of Exceptions is visited 1643 times less than Disney World, and therefore is seldom known. But it does exist! And it contains some of the rarest pieces of knowledge, the stuff of legends, the stuff self-proclaimed wise men (and women) want to get. And one of the things you'll find in the World of Exceptions is that sometimes, SOMETIMES, movies are made because the filmmakers <i>actually legitimately for realz want to</i>.<br />
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But why would a film maker want to make a sequel? Why not leave every movie self-contained?<br />
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Well, I'll tell you why. Because sometimes there are more stories left to tell in the established universe. Because sometimes plot threads are unfinished. Ever heard of Shrek 2? Empire Strikes Back? Back to the Future 2? Sometimes the directors/writers want to keep going. Sometimes they want to make more, not because it'll make money; because it would be <i>cool</i> to make more. Because those sequels would be so great if we ever manage to make them!<br />
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And if I still haven't gotten through to you, let me put it like this. Imagine movies as really long episodes of an ongoing series. Imagine movies and their sequels as serials. Imagine movies as long chapters of one book.<br />
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And I am not saying all movies need sequels. Most movies had sequels forced upon them. However, <i>some</i> movies deserve sequels. Some movies <i>need</i> sequels, or else they would remain unfinished forever.<br />
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I know you might be burned by Hollywood and its many clones around the world. I know you probably hate sequels. But please do not hate <i>all</i> of them! Please visit the World of Exceptions.Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-89025786113916515462015-07-01T20:35:00.000-07:002015-07-01T20:35:13.083-07:00Satyrday, a Fable. Wednesday, parts 9 & 10. The three were resting when an eerie stillness crept upon them from the east. The river calmed as though pressed by a large and powerful hand; it swept past them quickly, the current dizzying in its velocity, its surface no longer tongued by white water. It deepened past green to black, sucking all sound from the air. The wind died, the roaring of the river became a whisper, until they heard nothing but their own breathing and the solemn creak of firs and cedars shifting uncomfortably in the unearthly hush. They moved back from the river as darkness fell, seeking the harsh solidity of the trees' shelter.<br />
"Night comes early in these parts," Matthew said. Derin laughed nervously and pressed his back against the trunk of a fir. The air was grainy, as though it had taken the density of night, its muted weight. In that silence, each of them thought of the owl and the power of darkness. Derin looked up, expecting to see a vast black wingspread descend to them, talons tensed.<br />
He felt a surge of fear, and on his wrist a blue vein pulsed. He closed his eyes and tried to calm the racing of his heart. Vera crouched low between the two of them, her ears flattened against her head. She growled deep in her throat and her tail bristled. Her breathing, like Matthew's, was quick and shallow. As the darkness had come, so the day returned to them, moving from the east. First the wind's sighing resumed in the upper branches of the trees, and waves reared upon the river's surface. And then the grey light surrounded them, casting ashes on their faces.<br />
"What was it?" Derin asked.<br />
"I don't know," Matthew said. "I've never seen anything like it." They looked at Vera, half-expecting her to understand what had happened, but she shrugged and stared at the sky. "I thought we'd come to the end," she said. "I never expected to be grateful for this thin light. It only goes to show how little time is left. We should push on."<br />
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As Vera had said, there was swamp on this side too. It stretched before them as they picked up their packs and headed west. Ice and water, moss-covered hillocks, the grooved trunks of cedars passed around them as in a dream. Derin had the feeling they'd gotten nowhere, but the river's thunder receded until its sound disappeared into the icy water. The fox, who was leading, turned, and Derin almost tripped over her. "It won't be long," she reassured them. "Don't worry."<br />
Matthew whistled strange fragmentary pieces of a song Derin hadn't heard before. A few notes rose into the air and hung stranded, waiting for others which never came. He seemed preoccupied, half-dazed, and the boy wondered if the wound on the satyr's forehead were more serious than it looked. Derin kept up with the fox, who wasted no time threading a passage through the water, but the satyr lagged behind. He dragged his hooves, splashing water before him, and the constant noise began to wear on the boy's nerves.<br />
He stopped and faced the satyr, waiting for him to catch up. "Are you all right, Matthew?" he asked, but Matthew didn't answer, splashed right past him, whistling.<br />
Derin took two quick steps, caught the satyr by the shoulder, and spun him around. "I asked if you were all right," he said. Matthew shrugged free. "I'm fine," he said. "Just thinking."<br />
Derin let him walk second, and he followed through the swamp, watching the rhythmic swing of the satyr's shoulders, listening to the occasional haunting notes without form or pattern. As he pulled his feet free of the mud, little whirlpools rushed to fill the emptiness. He thought of the say before, the declivity of silence he'd lain in. He glanced over his shoulder, suddenly afraid they were being followed, but he could see only the stately monotonous recession of cedars.<br />
He heard the fox call back to him and Matthew, telling them they were almost out of the swamp, and he began to notice the change. The water lapped below his knees, the mud had given way to something more solid, and ahead, dimly, the boy could see the air brighten. It was like coming to the end of a long evening. In the swamp the light was stolen by the cedars and water, but where the water ended, the grey light they'd become accustomed to resumed.<br />
Derin was beginning to breathe more easily, anxious to escape the walled-in closeness of the swamp, when he saw the eyes. They peered at him from a thicket of pepperbush some distance to the left. He grunted, as though he'd been struck in the stomach, and stopped short. They disappeared. He stood where he was, scarcely breathing, his arms arrested in midswing, and stared at the thicket, sure he'd imagined them. But they blinked at him once more, what seemed to him hundreds of gleaming eyes, read as coral, as amanitas, and then he heard a soft swishing, water rippling, as the frogs swam away.<br />
He yelled to Vera and Matthew, now climbing the steady slope out of the swamp, and began to run, thrashing through the water, drenching himself again.<br />
He fled from the water, past the two who stood waiting, and Matthew reached out and grabbed him, almost wrenching him off the ground.<br />
"Wait," the satyr said. "Hold on."<br />
"They're back there," Derin gasped, his eyes wide. "Let go of me." He pulled his arm loose, but the look on the satyr's face kept him from running again.<br />
"What did you see?" Matthew asked.<br />
"The frogs. There were hundreds of them. Let's get out of here."<br />
"Calm down," Matthew said. "Your mind's playing tricks on you."<br />
"I'm not so sure," Vera said. "We're in the Outer Lands, remember. I expect we'll be reported. You didn't think we'd sneak up on the owl without his knowing, did you?"<br />
"I didn't know what to expect," Matthew said.<br />
"You saw hundreds of frogs?" Vera asked. "What did they do?"<br />
"They were in a bush. I saw their eyes."<br />
"They didn't follow you?"<br />
"No," Derin said, calmer. "They swam off. To the south."<br />
"There's nothing to do but keep going," the fox said. "We'll have to be careful."<br />
The land beyond the swamp was low and marshy. Cattails, reeds, tall knife-edged grass grew from the ground. Derin walked between the others, and his eyes searched the reeds for the red eyes he was sure were watching them. They traveled more quickly now; even Vera was unnerved by the thoughts of animals out there recording their passage, unseen presences they could do nothing about. Matthew tried to whistle to break the tension, but he soon stopped. Low shrublike bushes, waist-high pines, manzanita, dotted the terrain. There were places for things to hide.<br />
"What else lives here?" Derin asked, and Vera answered without breaking stride, speaking into the hollow air before her. "I told you before," she said. "Snakes and scorpions. Some weasels. I've seen a wild boar or two, though not in years. Up ahead, when the ground becomes desert, there are fewer animals. Sand squirrels mostly and a few other clans who have learned to get along without much water."<br />
"Desert?" Matthew asked.<br />
"The Plain of Desiccation," Vera said. "We'll be there all too soon."<br />
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I apologize for taking this long for completing a simple task of copying a few pages. If you want me to do this thing faster, just SAY it.Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8882761136139915570.post-48226061680488011132015-05-20T02:33:00.000-07:002015-05-20T02:33:21.213-07:00How to get thumbs up on your INTERNET comments. If you have been trying to solve this ages old secret, you came to the right place. I will tell you, dear reader, how to get upvoted in online places.<br />
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Way #1: Mention something a lot of other people like, and say you like it too.<br />
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Way #2: Use the latest, hottest meme you know, and meme it like there's no tomorrow.<br />
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Way #3: No, there is no 3rd way.<br />
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And, there you have it! <strike>3</strike> 2 sure ways to get your online comments upvoted.<br />
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P.S. I also heard rumors of another way to get thumbs up, but did not include it here for lack of solid evidence of it actually working. I believe it has something to do with posting interesting and/or helpful material, but I haven't seen such posts upvoted ever.Mister Twisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13370771651539304037noreply@blogger.com0